Long Distance Valentine’s Day: A Rollercoaster Of Feelings
I’m writing this to tell you guys the truth about long distance relationships and how to make them work. This has been my experience and actual feelings. Stuff’s about to get real.
But first, let me tell you a bit about my experience so far.
I’ve been together with my boyfriend for about five and a half years now and we are still perfectly happy.
When I left in September to study in Japan for a year, we didn’t think our relationship would be such a big issue. He had already studied abroad for a semester the year before, so we’ve already been apart for a long period. But still, a semester is nothing compared to a whole year.
The first two months were probably harder on him than they were on me. Because I was discovering a whole new country and culture, was making new friends every day, was feeling excited for a new school semester to start, I think I just didn’t have time to miss him that much. Of course I missed him, but compared to him, he was back home having to hear about all my new adventures, he missed me and was sad that he couldn’t have been there.
The third month, things were getting harder. I got to experience a lot of cool new stuff but I was getting really sad that he wasn’t there with me. Yep, weeping yourself to sleep does actually happen. To be honest, I haven’t cried since I came Tokyo, but then, when you start getting used to everything around you, you start getting a bit home sick and missing the people you love.
The end of December he was finally here! We were both so immensely happy. Like a brand-new couple. But we had to get used to each other again. We went from a Skype call every day to actually live with each other for two weeks 24/7. It wasn’t easy, but eventually we made it work and we were over the moon in love again.
When he had to leave again, I thought I’d never get over this heart-breaking feeling. I had to live with the fact that I wasn’t going to see him again for more than six months! It seemed impossible to me because we were so happy for these past two weeks. I definitely felt depressed for a good week. I even looked up plane tickets to fly back home. But I eventually got over it, also thanks to the support of some amazing friends I made here. We still talk every day, and soon, we fell back into the old routine. We are in an amazing place now.
The way we stay connected now is, in my opinion, the best way to make a long distance relationship work.
Because of the time difference (8 hours) we really do have to organise our days to stay in contact. For example, I’m an early bird and he’s a night owl, so he stays up very late and I wake up really early so we can chat or Skype. We talk about anything really. Just like we used to if we would be in the same country. We send each other links we might think they’d like, funny videos, pictures of our meals, photos of us with friends. We just try to keep each other updated and involved as much as possible and tell each other everything, even if it seems small or stupid.
Now, Valentine’s Day is coming up. I’ll be surrounded by lovey-dovey couples doing a lot of fun, romantic stuff and I’ll just be here alone… So how can we make this work?
We decided to keep everything as normal as possible. We started thinking what we would usually do on Valentine’s Day. These are possible scenario’s we came up with for this year.
Even if you’re so far from each other, a mindful gift will always be appreciated. My boyfriend is really into gaming, so I might send him one of the latest video games that came out in Japan. He knows that I love to read, so he might order me a book that he thinks I might like. TIP: I know this sounds less romantic than sending each other pretty gifts through mail, but order it off Amazon (or some other website that delivers) and let it go straight to their home. You’ll save a lot of money and it’s less of a hassle.
2. Good food
Me and my boyfriend love eating out, whether it’s a burger place or a fancy Italian restaurant. Back at home, we used to have this one Mexican restaurant we both LOVE. So maybe it might be funny if we each went to a Mexican restaurant and send each other pictures of the food, talk on the phone/skype while you’re there. It might seem silly, but at least you’re silly together (cheesyyyyyy, but who cares, right?).
3. Encourage each other to go out!
There is absolutely no need to spend Valentine’s Day alone! Encourage each other to go out with single friends! Or have a fun night in with movies and homemade snacks and a ton of chocolate. If you’re in a good place in your relationship, you want each other to be happy. There is no need to sit at home sulking alone.
I know this post seems depressing but let’s look at it in a positive light. Long distance is more than possible and can be amazing for both parties. You get to tell each other about all your new experiences and you can see each other grow as a person. It’s just a lot of hard work and A LOT of emotions.
I hope everybody has an amazing and super fun Valentine’s Day!